Wednesday, October 22, 2014

5 Min in Kathy's Head

...I don't understand why people minimize the amount of dressing they put on their salad.  I like my leaves coated... even when the restaurant pre-adds...I usually ask for more.  I get that there are added calories, but it's not like you're drinking down 1/2 a bottle.  And you're eating a pile of leaves anyhow...

...If my son pats my belly one more time saying, "baby"...I'm going to lay down and immediately do 50 crunches... that'll show him.

...my coworker told me today that he doesn't eat hummus because he sounds like "human" which he then relates to The Walking Dead.  What?!  They're chickpeas dude... which makes me think of baby chicks the size of peas... which is basically diet chicken wings.  *score*

...why does my potty training son think un-moving objects are staying still because they are pooping?  Like the tractor down the street...

...you know how when you go to a restaurant during your lunch break and your waitress highlights how they have a new menu that has your food to you in 8 min or less... and she proceeds to forget your drinks, deny you the complimentary salad and food comes out 25 min later with the appetizer 10 min after that?... she needs to work on her opener.

...I avoid un-happy people.  I tend not to acknowledge them when they confront me because they make me uncomfortable because of how contagious their negative disposition is.  I honestly don't understand why some people insist on looking at life so negatively.

...I worry about who my boys will be when they grow up.  I don't want them to make the wrong choices.

...why does Old Navy send me like 5 emails today about "today only" sales!  You fooled me once before... now I know jeans will always be on sale!

...how dirty are gas pumps?  Cause they gross me out.

...Some nights I'm so tired I want to hide in my closet (so lil A can't find me) and take a nap.  I would only wake up to eat, but I know Matt would panic and order a pizza.  Ugh... I wouldn't want a pizza.  We always get pizza.  Maybe a salad instead... with extra dressing.


4 comments:

  1. I'm a salad dressing minimizer. Can't help it!! Unless it's low fat or low cal then I'm all about it. I just can't pile on something that is 200 calories for a single TBSP. I do not get the hummus walking dead connection. It was only last week that the whole cannibalism thing was revealed anyway!!

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  2. I can't like hummus. I tried it the other day and tried to rip my tongue out. I should have washed the taste down with buttermilk ranch, that'll show them! OMG.. I freakin LOVE this post! I died laughing and was like "OMG Kathy get out my head!" If you find a way to get ON to STOP sending you today only sales, let me know, because..... Yeah... :-/

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  3. Ok, I don't like a lot of dressing on my salad, we can still be friends though! I don't like soggy salad, lol.

    Hahaha, about the patting of the belly, so funny!

    Yeah, I avoid unhappy people too because I really believe that they can be contagious.

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  4. I'm a medium dressing kinda gal, and um...chickpeas, baby chicks.. look...you're crazier than I thought LMAO

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