Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Strength for the Day

So I promised in my comeback post that I would share more.  I don't want the new chapter of my blog life to just be rainbows and butterflies and a slew of DIY projects.  Quite honestly, when I said I needed this outlet I meant it.  I don't have a place in my life to call my own right now.  I think when I first started blogging I was a newlywed and still wandering through life in that crystal bubble of "perfect".  And honestly, the things that bothered me then were so small.  But then life got more challenging... and the things I did to relax the tension away weren't easy to do anymore.  For instance.  I do DIY projects to release tension.  The ritual of putting in my earbuds and spending hours building something out of nothing are therapeutic.  Any chance I get to do it...I relish in it.  But my life has a lot of other priorities now...and every day I'm learning to balance it all.  The stress from them all can be overwhelming, but with God's guidance I'm learning so much about what I can handle.



I will never blame my kids...cause I made them 
They are by far the biggest blessings in my life.  Yes, they can be overwhelming, exhausting, stressful and downright maddening. But they're my flesh and blood.  Lord only knows what I put my parents through...so I'm sure I deserve some sleepless nights and tantrums.  But I could never blame them for what doesn't work in my life.  Because my life without them... was so empty.  I was meant to be their mommy... and that blessing alone wipes away of the exhausted tears.
What does frustrate me is the stigma.  That mom's are supposed to be perfect.  That we can't get frustrated, tired, fed up or upset.  But we don't get credit for the stuff that seems small and pointless... but when you add it all up.  It matters.  And the stigma continues because we get blamed for what doesn't go right.  Kid isn't dressed well, has a messy face in public, isn't learning at a pace compared to "so-and-so"... people always look to the mom and wonder what she isn't doing right.  So to all the moms out there who feel overwhelmed...know that your kids are your only judge. :)  Every time Avery tells me, "Thank you for dressing me mommy" or "Mommy, I like your hair" I know I'm doing ok. :) <--and done="" even="" good.="" haven="" i="" it="" know="" m="" nbsp="" p="" t="" yet="">
Marriage is an ongoing team effort...
I honestly didn't know how hard marriage would be.  I don't mind saying I was beyond naive.  And I hate the fact that people refuse to talk about it.  We all take these cute selfies and post them on social media with hashtags inferring that all is perfect all the time.  But marriage is so hard!  I took for granted the fact that bringing our kids into the equation would mean that it would be easier.  But we all had to adjust. not just from becoming parents, but being husband and wife first and parents second.  I can honestly say I had the backward for awhile.  I'm just now starting to get that right, but it's been an uphill climb to change the culture I built for myself.  I've always been harder on myself than I let on.  Whether it was school or any project... I demanded perfection.  Perfection was what you got from me.  But I'm not in a marriage alone.  And I do have flaws.  My husband has flaws.  But God created us, flaws and all, and brought us together to compliment each other.  To complete each other.  To accept each others' flaws and be perfect...together.  So like I said, learning a lot about my role as a wife... one day at a time. I think my deepest fear is that because of my independence... and what I consider my strengths... they're almost not wanted or needed as a wife.  Like, I need to dumb myself down or quiet my ideas in order to be that perfect wife.  I don't know.  Throwing out that deep nugget to see if anyone shares that too.

It's just a job...that I happen to love
Not many can say they love doing what they do as a career.  But a few years ago I took a new job in the quality department and I love it.  It's my niche... and I'm actually bummed I didn't figure it out sooner in my career.  The first role in the division had me traveling quite a bit (Avg: 2 days / month) and it was stressful both for me and my family.  We made things work and I learned a lot in those couple years.  So now I'm in a new role that has been staying home and so far it's been great as well.  Still doing the work I love, but I get to come home to my hubby and babies each evening.  :)
I don't know what the next chapter will be though.  We'll see.

So I have a point to my post today.  With everything that has been what I call the "whirlwind" of my life the few years I've managed to have one constant.  God.  And the verse that he laid on my heart has been:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

If we're fb friends, you've noticed the following quote as my cover picture... and it has been up there since the beginning of the year.  Last year was not a good year for me... so I'm keeping that verse and quote close as a daily reminder...I need strength for each and every day.

7 comments:

  1. I love this post and it is so accurate! Especially the marriage part. That's one I still struggle with. I think social media has a way of making everyone look rich and happy. I keep reminding myself that it is an illusion and we all have to work for what we have and work at having a happy marriage.

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    1. Thanks for the comment Joy! I agree with you on social media. I've made it a point to just keep my relationship off of it. Even when we're great, it's nice to have that a private affair!

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  2. Sounds like with a lot of trial, error and effort everything is coming together. Thanks for being open enough to share that life is not always a perfect DIY project! So cool that you love your job. That is such a big deal and so important.

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    1. Trial, error and effort for sure! But learning along the way... to me, that makes it worth it. :) Thanks for visiting!

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  3. It's so easy to get caught up in pretending that everything in life is peachy. Unfortunately it isn't. Doesn't mean that your life isn't good, it just means that you are human and that life isn't, well, perfect. I love when I can relate with a person in their imperfectness because now it is becoming harder and harder because no one wants to share that yes, I'm having a really bad day/month/year. I'm hoping that 2016 is the year that we all say life is great but man sometimes it just sucks. Because if that is one thing we can all agree on, it is that.

    Love you girly and I'm so glad you're back to blogging!

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    1. Great points Faith!! Thanks for sharing and visiting!... and I'm so happy to be back!

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  4. This is so beautifully written Kathy. You can never look at people social media perfectly curated lives and assume that is real life. For every great picture, there are a hundred really bad ones :).

    I am a very positive person so I always focus on the positive but man, life is hard and busy and full of crazy surprises.

    I love how honest and open you are about the trials and tribulations of marriage and motherhood. Everyday we just count our blessings and the ways in which we have strength to take on life. We are alive, healthy and strong enough to fight another day.

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